24 Comments
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Gail Montenegro's avatar

This is such a beautiful piece of writing, Rebecca. It made me cry. And that photo is so poignant. Sending love 💕

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Rebecca Barry's avatar

Thank you so much Gail! Miss you!

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Emily's avatar

Geez, Rebecca, this one really made me cry. That picture will always turn my heart upside down with grief and tenderness. He's lost a lot but he's still scraping his bowl to the last little drop of whatever Alzheimers friendly food he is eating.

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Rebecca Barry's avatar

I know, I cried when I wrote it. I'm going through all my notes from that time period and reliving a lot. It's very healing and very tear-jerky! That picture gets me every time, too. It's definitely worth more than my thousand words.

And ha ha, yes re: the scraping the bowl. And it's loud, too!

Come home soon!

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Maggie Causey's avatar

So, so beautiful. As I write this, tears are streaming down my cheeks and I'm remembering my sweet husband Jim who died of Lewy Body Dementia 4 years ago. Dementia is a horrific disease but when we're lucky as I was with Jim, the soul and personality remain till the end. I loved the part of your piece about your dad just climbing into bed with your mom and holding her. So frigging sweet. Thank you, Dear Rebecca.

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Rebecca Barry's avatar

Thank you Maggie--I'm so sorry you have to go through that with your husband, I didn't realize it was so recent. It IS a hard disease, and you're right, it is so lucky when the soul and personality are still there. I see this more and more with my dad and I'm so grateful. That moment when he climbed into bed with her is one that will never leave me. Thank you so much for appreciating it, and for being here. I love you so much!

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Victoria's avatar

Thank you for sharing this with us, Rebecca. There's such tenderness between the words and lines and unspoken communication.

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Rebecca Barry's avatar

Thank you for reading and for this comment, Victoria. I appreciate it so much!

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Priya Iyer's avatar

I’m crying. It’s everything that makes life life.

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Rebecca Barry's avatar

Aw, Priya, thank you. Not that I want to make you cry, but I'm so happy that it moved you.

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Linda Thompson's avatar

Poignant and beautiful.

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Rebecca Barry's avatar

Thank you so much Linda.

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Jennifer Wilkins's avatar

Such a beautiful remembrance.

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Rebecca Barry's avatar

Thank you, Jennifer! So nice to see you here!

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Jill Swenson's avatar

Such a touching essay. Deep chords.

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Amalia Gladhart's avatar

Beautiful, Rebecca. If I were home, I would join you to write this weekend. What a beautiful photo of the two of them.

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Rebecca Barry's avatar

Thank you, Amalia. I’m so glad to have that photo. I hesitated to take it at the time because it was such an intimate moment, but I really cherish it now.

I’ll be sorry to miss you this weekend it would have been so fun to have you! Next time. Have fun in Italy!

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Mike Matejka's avatar

such tender beauty - this is what life gives us and we must embrace it all...

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Rebecca Barry's avatar

Thank you so much, Mike. 100% agreed!

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Jamie Holland's avatar

This is so tender and beautiful, Rebecca. Your mom knowing she’s been forgotten— that was so heart wrenching— especially because she needed so much help.

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Rebecca Barry's avatar

Thanks, Jamie. I know! He really was very attentive, I think it would hurt him even now to know he forgot about her that day. Are you coming to the writing sprint this Saturday? Would love to see you if you can be there!

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Steph Auteri's avatar

My father received his own Alzheimer's diagnosis this year, so this one made me a little weepy. Looking forward to writing with you this weekend!

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Rebecca Barry's avatar

I'm so excited that you're coming! I'm looking forward to writing with YOU.

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. It's definitely a journey and if you need any support, don't hesitate to reach out. I know what's like, and am here for you.

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Francesca Bossert's avatar

Ufff, Rebecca, this is stunning and made me very emotional. Scraping the yoghurt pot. Such a perfect detail. Maybe you should be a writer 🤗😂❤️❤️❤️ I loved this.

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